First, Mina replied to the malicious DM she received, which says, ÔÇťGet lost, you b****.ÔÇŁ ÔÇťI really, really, really want to get lost, too, but I have to take care of my mom. Ah, IÔÇÖm gonna start getting so many DMs calling me ÔÇśno brains.ÔÇÖ YouÔÇÖre right. I am ÔÇśno brainsÔÇÖ and never properly learned anything. I had to earn money from a young age because of my family situation. When I cried in the waiting room after my dad passed away, there was an unnie who dragged me to the closet, telling me to stop crying because it was ruining the mood, and I told her I was scared. I was scared of my dad dying. I canÔÇÖt forget what you said to me then. Any other bullying? Any other harsh words? They donÔÇÖt matter. It was such a scar, but we got in the same car afterward, so you told me to go to sleep after taking nerve relaxers and sleeping pills. I needed to do a good job with my schedules, but I felt myself breaking. I even tried to take my own life because of her once. Honestly, IÔÇÖm okay even if you people never respect me as an idol or an actress. I know IÔÇÖm terrible, I know I lack. But I was so happy doing it. And I really worked hard. I still love being in this area of work. I was never stressed about being an idol, and to tell you the truth, I never wanted to leave AOA. But because of someone who hated me, I gave up after enduring her bullying for 10 years, and at the end of it all, I even wanted to turn around and lash out on her. I really had fun working with other AOA members. But some time ago, that unnieÔÇÖs father passed away. I self sad and weird. At least that sadness wasnÔÇÖt for me. I went to the funeral, and she cried as soon as she saw me, saying that she is sorry. Everything felt pointless, and my heart broke down. The resentment is gone and everythingÔÇÖs fine, but IÔÇÖm scared because IÔÇÖm so broken. Hiatus, of course, I expected it. I wanted to try learning a few things, maybe try to receive treatment for my depression and anxiety. But it turns out, even during a hiatus, a lot of things happen. Honestly, IÔÇÖm tired. Like people say on the Internet, I donÔÇÖt know who I am or what I am anymore. I know you donÔÇÖt want to hear it or see my face, but itÔÇÖs not like I was born because I wanted to. Now I canÔÇÖt control myself, and I just got to live on for my mom. ItÔÇÖs fine if you donÔÇÖt see me fondly and itÔÇÖs fine if you donÔÇÖt pay me any attention; canÔÇÖt you just leave me alone? Because I get that everything is my fault.ÔÇŁ Then in the next post, she continued: ÔÇťOh, the reason I wrote about that AOA unnie is because I knew that my dad was going to pass on after they told him he was in the terminal stage of his pancreatic cancer. But I was afraid of being bullied by her again and I had a role that I had to play. Also, we were making our comeback so we had a lot of schedules and I didnÔÇÖt want to burden the other members. I had to memorize my lines and always had to put on a smile, so I thought that I shouldnÔÇÖt keep thinking about my dad because I had work to do. I couldnÔÇÖt even go into his room, because if I went in and saw him just skin and bones in his last stage of cancer, there was no way I wouldnÔÇÖt cry. My sister called me and told me that my dad was looking for me even when he couldnÔÇÖt talk properly anymore. But in my head, I thought, what if I cry during my schedules, what if that unnie yells at me again? I was too young and so I thought I just had to do it that way. I thought that was right and I didnÔÇÖt want to get shouted at anymore. So I had a chance to visit him more often, but I didnÔÇÖt, and when my dad closed his eyes, I let him go. Right next to him, there was a sketchbook where we wrote ÔÇśwhereÔÇÖs my daughter?ÔÇÖ so he could show it to the nurse, but I couldnÔÇÖt go because I was working. But I heard that you out your father in a special room and canceled all your personal schedules, but I hope itÔÇÖs not true. Unnie, you should act more professionally, too. DonÔÇÖt cry, okay? ItÔÇÖll ruin the mood. You were the one who said why should everyone have to worry because of me. I hope unnie can overcome it too. I will never forget what you said to me and what you did to me. I remember everything, even if itÔÇÖs a bit fuzzy. Whenever I remember all of that, I take medication to hold on to myself. But I think the things you said to me with my dad will stay with me my entire life. It may be things that you have spit out at the spur of the moment, but to me, it became a real scar. When we had 5 minutes to talk before I left, I told you that that left a scar on me. But you stared me down and said, ÔÇśI didnÔÇÖt think I was b**** enough to say something like that?ÔÇÖ But another member brought up the courage for me and said that you did say that. I was so shocked I couldnÔÇÖt say anything else and thought, ÔÇśIs she really a human?ÔÇś And we just parted ways. To be honest, IÔÇÖm not smart, so my memory is the worst, but unnie, you are endless. Thanks to you, I take dozens of pills every day, and my left wrist hurts because I cut it so many times. But seeing my mom, I have to live on. I need to earn money. So IÔÇÖm getting treatments for the scars though I still have nightmares. The funny thing is, before I left, we (AOA members) went out for a drink except you and talked. But we still donÔÇÖt know. Why did you hate me?ÔÇŁ Source (1, 2)
